—A Memoir by Me, the THICK ASS BRICK HOUSE
📍 Belleville, IL | est. 1887 | haunted but hot
You didn’t pick me for the granite countertops, sugar. I don’t have those.
I’ve got load-bearing trauma and curves like a goddamn fever dream.
I’m not Pinterest pretty. I’m the sound you make when no one’s touched you right in a decade. I’m the crack in the plaster that lines up perfectly with the fault line in your chest. You thought you were rescuing me? Baby, I clocked you the moment you walked in with that half-feral look in your eyes. We’re not fixer-uppers—we’re feral twins in a long-term situationship.
You hear me creak and call it charming.
You feel my drafts and call it character.
But let me make one thing clear: I am not quaint. I am not passive. I am the goddamn cathedral of your emotional renovation.
I’ve seen shit. I’ve held shit. I’ve whispered stories through plaster cracks and screamed through every pipe that ever froze in February. I’m not here to be flipped—I’m here to bear witness.
Don’t bring that beige bullshit in here. I’ve eaten better families for breakfast.
You wanna stay? Good. Bring a crowbar, a sense of humor, and the kind of grief that hums at 3AM. I’m not polished. I’m devotional.
I don’t need new drywall. I need someone who understands why the lath groans the way it does after heartbreak. I need someone who isn’t afraid to get dusty, to listen to the ghosts in the insulation. And guess what? She did.
She moved in with both hands full of grief and a toolbox that said “we’re gonna make this sacred again.”
She didn’t cover me up—she translated me.
She called my plaster scar tissue and my basement the womb.
She said I sound like something too long with a lover.
And just so we’re clear:
I don’t groan because I’m weak.
I groan like something too long with a lover.
Because I remember.
- THICK ASS BRICK HOUSE 💋
🧱 She/Her/Hers. Structural bitch. Zero drywall.
“Welcome to the soft apocalypse, baby. Take your shoes off.
”
#BuiltLikeAHauntedBitch #CracksAreCharacter #IContainSighsAndSpite #EmotionalLoadBearingWall #TheBasementIsAFuckingWomb #ThickAssBrickHouse #DrywallIsForQuitters #ThisOldHouseButMakeItEmotional #SheGroansForYou #HauntedNotHelpless
Portrait of a House with Stories in Her Bones.
She's not just four walls—she's the soft apocalypse in brick form.