Ruin Me Respectfully: The Syllabus

COURSE TITLE:

Ruin Me Respectfully
 Advanced Interpersonal Navigation for the Neurospicy & Nervously Enchanted

PREREQUISITES:

  • Must understand that stillness ≠ safety

  • Consent is a recursive loop, not a checkbox

  • Patience must outlast arousal (If you rush the system, the system logs off)

REQUIRED MATERIALS:

  • One (1) nervous system regulated enough not to freak out when mine does

  • Curiosity over certainty

  • A working knowledge of non-verbal feedback:
    (see also: limb tension, pupil shifts, sudden silence, and that one eyebrow twitch that means abort mission)

LEARNING OUTCOMES:

  • Accurately distinguish “I’m quiet because I’m shutting down” from “I’m quiet because I’m melting into the void in a good way”

  • Hold silence without spiraling

  • Practice dominance without disconnection

  • Recalibrate during glitches without blaming the glitcher

  • Recognize that “soft” is not a downgrade from “hot”—it’s the launch code

EXTRA CREDIT:

  • Interpret “just breathe with me” as a regulation ritual, not a rejection

  • Identify the difference between trauma-informed touch and performance-based affection

  • Adapt to non-linear intimacy—because sometimes foreplay is making me soup while I cry under a weighted blanket

⚠️ COURSE WARNINGS & SENSORY CONSIDERATIONS:

This course may involve:

  • Sudden quiet

  • Nonverbal communication

  • Temperature regulation issues (layering encouraged)

  • Emotional recursion loops

  • Requests for slowness that feel like no, but are actually let me get there safely

  • Strange but sacred phrases like “hold my ankle while I remember how to be a person”

  • Intermittent shutdowns, followed by involuntary poetry

Participants must agree to:

  • Not interpret dysregulation as disinterest

  • Offer co-regulation, not control

  • Respect recalibration without needing a PowerPoint explanation

📚 REQUIRED READING LIST:

  • The Nervous System Is Not a Liability: A Field Guide for Lovers Who Listen

  • How to Speak Glitch Without Screaming

  • Metaphor as Safe Word: A Neurodivergent Love Language

  • Softness Is Not a Safe Word (But It Helps)

  • If You Can’t Handle the Buffering, You Don’t Deserve the Download

Grading Scale:
 ✅ A = You co-regulate like a motherfucking wizard.
💾 B = Good instincts, needs more glitch fluency.
🧊 C = Accidentally iced the vibe. Don’t worry. Buffer, reboot, and try again.
🧻 D = Panicked, offered unsolicited advice, brought up your ex, asked if they were mad. Go hydrate.
🔥 F = Said “Are you always like this?” while holding the syllabus upside down. No.